But, the thing that bothers me most about our country's breast obsession is that it uses and abuses them for predominantly male pleasure without allowing women embrace their boobs without criticism. For example, I have pretty big boobs for my body type. Whether I'm in a turtle neck or a tank top, they're going to be right there in the middle of my chest staring everyone in the face because like Miley Cyrus, they can't be tamed. Not even in a sports bra. It just so happens that wearing v-neck shirts makes me feel comfortable because they are the only style of shirt that doesn't make me look like I'm wearing maternity wear, or that doesn't squish the top of my boobs down so they look funny, and it's also the style of shirt that makes people judge me the hardest. I once overheard a group of girls call me a slut because my boobs were so big. I get asked all the time if they're real, and most of the time I have to make my face really interesting so other's will look up. Now we could go into why all of that is wrong, but that is not he point of this post, so allow me to bring up another example of how women are not allowed to own their boobies-breastfeeding. Throw them up on a billboard in all their swollen glory, sell playboy photography books in Barnes and Nobles, make every actress, in any movie, no matter how serious, slip a nip or show some side boob, but don't you dare let that mom feed her baby with her boobs.
It absolutely kills me that we put boobs everywhere and then condemn women that want to use them for their actual purpose. That's right people, boobs have a purpose! They are not just "fun bags" (a term I absolutely abhor), they're actually used to give children life and they're so good at it that if you do decide to breastfeed, your boobs will regulate the nutrients in your breast milk based on your infants needs. That's how cool boobs are, and those are the reasons we should be celebrating them and plastering them everywhere, not because someone, somewhere, figured out guys would by something if it came attached to a pair of boobs.
So, as with all posts, here comes the moral of the story-celebrate your boobs. No matter the size or shape they are capable of pretty incredible stuff and they also make your clothes fit better. So celebrate them! If you want to show them off! Show them off! If you want to cover them up, cover them up! And if you want to set them free, by god set them free! But if you're going to wear a bra, wear one that is going to make you feel comfortable. You can't change the world if there is underwire stabbing you in the sternum. So throw away the uncomfortable bras that make you look like you're baking bread out of the tops, go and get measured (because Oprah is right and most women wear the wrong bra size), and show the people (and more importantly yourself!) just how awesome your boobs are by being comfortable in your own skin. Oh, and breastfeed wherever the hell you want because that's the whole point of lugging these things around in the fist place!Embrace you boobs! Love yourself! Grace out! (Insert mic drop here)